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Jet Fuel Formula Episode 18: Farewell, My Ugly or Knots to You/Transcript
Narrator: 'Well, our heroes certainly aren't feeling like heroes these days... ''(Objects are thrown at Rocky and Bullwinkle, who are forced to duck) 'Narrator: '...for they lost the mooseberry bush, and with it, their chance to rediscover their secret rocket fuel. '''Rocky: '''Gee, if we just knew where there was another bush. '''Bullwinkle: '''But we don't. We ain't moon men, you know. '''Rocky: '''Bullwinkle, that's it! The moon men! '''Bullwinkle: '''Where? Where? '''Rocky: '''I mean, they know where there was another bush. '''Bullwinkle: '''Hey, that's pretty smart. I wish I'd thought of that. '''Rocky: '''You did. '''Bullwinkle: '''Then how come you said it? '''Rocky: '''Come on, let's find 'em. '''Narrator: '''But when our friends called on the moon men at their New York apartment, they were gone, and nobody knew where. '''Rocky: '''Well, it was a good idea. '''Bullwinkle: '''Yeah, even if I did think of it. '''Narrator: '''But just then, Rocky spotted a theatrical newspaper that gave them a clue to the moon men's whereabouts. '''Rocky: ''(reading) "Moon Men Socko in Las Wages." '''Bullwinkle: '(reading) ''"Loonar-ticks 20-G Click at Sands" '''Rocky: '''What do you suppose it means in English? '''Bullwinkle: '''I don't know. I'll ask. ''(to man reading) ''Uh, pardon me, what does that mean? '''Man: '''You kidding, Jack? One of the biggest Beale Drawers in show biz! Floored them in Philly, pulverized them in Podunk, the sen-sashe! Way out! In a word: Boffo! '''Bullwinkle: '''Thanks. '''Rocky: '''What's it mean? '''Bullwinkle: '''He wouldn't tell me! ''(dissolve to the U.S. Counter-Intelligence Office with a translator at a machine Narrator: 'But eventually, our friends did find someone to translate the headlines for them. '''Translator: '''Hmmm. According to our computer, your friends have a fairly successful show in Las Vegas, Nevada. '''Rocky: '''Las Vegas?! ''(cut to The Deserted Inn where Gidney and Cloyd are performing) 'Narrator: '''Sure enough, the moon men had gone into show business as a song-and-dance team. 'and Cloyd Me and my shadow. All alone and feeling blue Blue. Bloo-pi-doo. (the curtain closes and the audience applauds) Cloyd: 'Listen to that, Gidney. They love us. ''(Gicney and CLoyd's agent holds a phone receiver) 'Agent: '''Telephone, Mr. Cloyd. ''(Cloyd takes the receiver) 'Cloyd: '''Thanks. Okay, lay it on me. '''Rocky: '''Cloyd, this is Rocky the Flying Squirrel. '''Cloyd: '''Rocky, doll! How are you? '''Rocky: '''Rocky doll? '''Cloyd: '''It's been ages, sweetie. What have you been keeping? '''Rocky: '''Gee, he sure sounds funny. '''Bullwinkle: '''Let me talk to him. Hello, there! '''Cloyd: '''Bullwinkle, baby! '''Bullwinkle: '''Baby?! I'm six-foot-two in my stocking hoofs! '''Cloyd: '''What? Can't hear a thing, lover. The applause is deafening. ''(to Gidney) ''Here, Gid, I'll quiet 'em down. ''(Gidney takes the phone receiver while Cloyd comes out from backstage) 'Cloyd: '''And now, folks, a brief intermission. Thank you. ''(Cloyd fires his scrroch gun at the audience) 'Narrator: '''And of course, as soon as Cloyd fired his scrooch gun, the whole audience was frozen solid. '''Gidney: '''You want what? '''Rocky: '''Another mooseberry bush. '''Gidney: '''Oh, yes. Well, there is one other place. '''Rocky: '''Swell, let me write it down. Yes. Yes. '''Cloyd: '''Come on, Gidney, they're only scrooched for a minute or so. '''Gidney: '''Oh, we'd love to help you, Rocky, but we're booked solid for the next three years. Frankie asked us to follow Judy at the palace, you know. ''(the audience begins applauding again) 'Cloyd: '''There they go. '''Gidney: '''What'll we give them, Cloyd? Some real moon song. '''Cloyd: '"How about "Shine on Harvest Earth?" 'Gidney: '''Oh, that's kooky! ''(The curtain opens and Gidney and CLoyd resume singing) 'Gidney: '''And one, and two, and... 'and Cloyd Shine on Shine on harvest earth up in the sky. 'Narrator: '''So Gidney and Cloyd resumed their theatrical careers while a little later on a pier in New York City... '''Bullwinkle: '''Where are we going, Rock? '''Rocky: '''There's only one other place on Earth to find mooseberries, and we're going there. '''Bullwinkle: '''Where's there? '''Rocky: '''A country called Pottsylvania. '''Narrator: '''And at that instant, just around the corner... '''Natasha: '''You've got good tickets, dollink. '''Boris: '''Of course. Anything worth stealing is worth stealing well. First class cabin. ''(Boris looks at his ticket and takes out a bomb) 'Boris: '''And-a-nobody better try stop us! '''Narrator: '''So the two spies are headed for the same place as our heroes: Pottsylvania. And what will happen if either of the parties spots the other? Don't miss our next episode: ''Cheerful Little Pierful or Bomb Voyage.